Its 3am in the morning and my waist feels like its empty yet full of needles, Joan is crying again, I look into her eyes and I remember. The 3 weeks I had been as moody as a tortoise and just as slow. Lara my friend jokingly said she thinks I have lost my virginity, oh she had no idea I had lost more than that, although I smiled nervously and told her she was as crazy as the mad woman that always stayed at the junction saying gibberish nonsense.
The
inception has been tied to a dark prince, Tunji has this dark handsomeness that
just tempts you into doing all those things only ladies who have worn white do.
It was a rainy night and he could leave my room but I convinced myself that the
rain was too heavy and he won't get an okada that stormy night, we both had
plans of creating our own Storm right here in my purple abode, "Pearl I
cannot sleep here, as soon as the rain stops even if it's by 11pm I will go
home." I laughed and told him I knew he wanted to stay. I prepared
indomie and tea as all I wanted to eat that evening were his kisses. NEPA must
have known what was up that night because the light was so dull, ‘low current’
as we call it. My girly room suddenly looked like a garden, I felt drunk as I
kept thinking if I should make the first move, my mom's stern face kept
crawling into my inner eyes and I kicked it to the back of my neck, at least
there are no eyes there. I set the Indomie on the reading table, we ate in
silence but the night was soon going to be filled with sounds, I wondered
what it was going to be like, 'my first time'. I banished my mom, my dad, my
pastors, aunts, Lara, everyone who expected me to know rights from wrong were
banished from my thoughts. I have decided, I’m going to embrace all the glides,
sucking, moaning and all they ever told me rings a woman's bell.
He
left the next morning and I could not even look at him, I pretended I was
asleep while I kept praying he’d leave my room and life. Fear was the first
call I received in the morning and the last person to check if I was tucked
into bed at night was old lonely fear. Fear led me to take a pregnancy test, I
read almost every website online talking about pregnancy symptoms. I think the
sperms are playing around with my eggs already, I calculated my cycle,
hallelujah I’m save, I thought as I waited. Then I cursed that day....the nurse
looked at me with gossip in her eyes, “how old are you? Stupid girl you are
pregnant". I cried my eyes out as I knew I will keep my baby. Grenades
explored in my head, it was not easy as friends turned fiends, I disappointed
my parents, everyone who had faith in me thought I chose a bad fate, damn I
know I chose a bad fate but I made a good decision to keep a life time souvenir
that I too have joined the league of persons who knew right but choose left.
I’m ready to do right all over again, I insist on success, it has become a must
I make it a constant companion. Now I think, and I’m grateful
for the love of Joan, though I was kicked out of my father's house, I landed in
a land of cries and diapers, most of all love....
written by Lola Onigbinde
